Holidays are fast approaching and with that comes gatherings and the intrusive questions. Here comes a written rant to hopefully make some of us think before we ask or make unwelcome comments.
Holidays are fast approaching and with that comes gatherings and the typical intrusive questions. Here comes my written rant to hopefully make some of us think before we ask or make unwelcome comments.
Asking someone who has been in a long relationship when they are going to get married is almost on the same level as asking someone when they are going to have kids. First, it’s really none of your business, maybe the first question should be “do you want to get married?” and from their response you can continue to ask questions and not mind your business.
I get it, especially in the Latino culture, it’s shocking to be in your late 20’s, early 30’s, or in a long term relationship and not be engaged, married or not have kids. Now, I have nothing against people engaged, married or with kids. I actually think it is amazing but everyone moves at their own pace. If a couple wants to get married 3 months after meeting on Tinder, hey–that’s them. If they want to get married 12 years after being together or never get married then that’s also their damn problem. It doesn’t affect your life whatsoever, it’s just that some of us are ingrained with the concept that our life cycle involves a relationship, a few years committed, ring, marriage, kids.
Now, I am not saying I don’t want my boyfriend to be my husband, I really like how that sounds but it’s not my main priority in my relationship. I have been in a lonnng relationship and I think the fact that we have been able to work on the multiple ups and downs shows how much our love for each other is worth fighting for and no marriage license or ceremony is going to be more powerful than that. And no, I am not trying to diminish the value of this sacred communion (I’m not religious at all FYI). I think it’s great that many hold such level of value, passion and respect towards it but don’t assume everyone has to think like you, value things like you, or prioritize like you, that is where my issue lies.
I personally think the same applies to asking someone when they plan on having kids as if you are assuming they want any or they are not already trying. I know people who really are trying to get pregnant and they simply can’t at the moment and this intrusive question hits a nerve and may be hurtful.
For the ones who are not sure if they want any kids or maybe do not want any period, asking this question over and over becomes frustrating especially when you actually respond and say “at [insert age in 30’s] and they respond “oh no, you will be too old then and will not enjoy them.” So you wanted an answer, I gave you one, and now it’s not the right one–give me a break! Then, your question should have been “you are only getting older, shouldn’t you start having kids now?” to what I respond, in my head, “no the fuck I’m not” or “if it means my kids will turn out like yours, I’ll just sell my ovaries instead.”
I think some people are getting better with this, but others insist with this question as if the creation of kids would somehow complete me, validate my existence, or make me happier.
But one of the reasons I am honestly writing this is the feeling I get when I am asked these questions. First, I don’t really care about how nosy you are, but there are times I get this feeling that I am being judged because I am not fulfilling an imaginary timing protocol. It’s like your question implies an attempt to define how my life should evolve. Or that for some reason, I am not good enough yet because I don’t have a ring on my finger, have a marriage certificate or kids. I know I have to work more on not caring what others think and work on not creating imaginary judgments passed upon me. But the people who also ask those questions should reflect a little more before asking them.
Are you asking because you genuinely care about my thoughts on my future family or are you asking to be nosy or to make a statement on how I should be planning my future and insinuating I should put more urgency in it. But urgency to what?
It’s 2018, it’s not like I am waiting to get married to lose my virginity or I have a life expectancy of 45 years–it always kills me when others say I’m too old to have kids and won’t enjoy them, what are they a piece of ice-cream? Are they going to melt as time passes?
Maybe the day will come and those who matter to the couple will know when it happens, I mean after asking such question did you expect the answer to be–well we think in 3 months but we haven’t announced it yet but thanks for asking, uh no honey, lol it’s not likely you are going to get that.
All and all, I think there are better questions to ask a person who is in a long relationship in their late 20s or 30s without assuming marriage or kids are the ultimate validation to it. Ask me how am I doing, if I’m happy, what makes me happy or ask me about my interests, my future plans and upcoming goals, that’s it. I think I make sense, right? Anyway, thanks for reading my rant, until the next post, chau!
Disclaimer: I know these questions are not always asked with bad intentions. Everyone is not intrusive and many do not speak from their preconceived stereotypes and judgments.
EMPOWERING OTHERS DOESN’T MEAN FORCING YOUR BELIEFS OF THE PERFECT LIFESTYLE UPON OTHERS OR EVEN ENCOURAGING THEM TO MIMIC THE PATH OF “THE BEST YOU.” THERE IS NO ONE WAY OF DOING THINGS.
With only 10 weeks before Christmas and other holidays, I decided to prepare earlier this year rather than to just wait until the week of. Every year I realize I get overwhelmed with shopping and more often than I want to, I have to dig into my main savings account. This year I made a simple plan…
With only 10 weeks before Christmas and other holidays, I decided to prepare early this year rather than wait until the week of to purchase gifts. Every year I realize I get overwhelmed with shopping and more often than I want to, I have to dig into my main savings account.
This year I made a simple plan, I budgeted about 4 months in advance, you can still try to do this in 10 weeks. Here is how:
Set a Definite Goal|Make a Plan|Set a Time-Frame: Let’s say you want to save $500 for Christmas gifts. Set the goal and stick to it but make a plan with a time-frame. For example since there are 10 weeks left until Christmas, that means saving $50 weekly. Work around your pay period and if you get paid every two weeks, double the amount to $100. Make sure as soon as you get the direct deposit, you are withdrawing the cash and putting it in an envelope dedicated for this only. You can use this same technique for larger savings. Let’s say I want to save $5,000 in one year. I get 26 paychecks, therefore I need $192.40 saved from each paycheck. $5,000 / 26=$192.40.
Insurance: See if you can have your primary health insurance be your primary medical portion for car insurance to save on premiums. In NJ, a big portion of your car insurance is the medical part. I was told to contact my health insurance first to see if they cover car accidents and they did. I called back my car insurance and asked them to have my health insurance be my primary in case of a car accident. Disclaimer: I am no expert in this area, and thanks to God I have not been involved in any car accidents and hope I never do. I cannot tell you more details about the exact process if a claim went through, all I know is my health insurance is pretty amazing. Before making any decisions consult with an expert.
Ask for Discounts: Call your homeowners insurance or car insurance for discounts in bundling or if there are other offers. I recently increased my homeowners insurance to their suggested coverage amount and by doing so they gave a discount which resulted in my premium going down while my coverage went up. Thank youNJM Insurance.
Check if your Health Insurance Offers Rewards Programs: I get $250 for just going to my doctors, getting an annual physical and getting a flu shot along with other online short activities. NJ Well is the program I am enrolled in.
Cable: Call to see if there are current promotions running that can help lower your bill. Also, see if buying a modem can save you money in the long run since you pay a rental fee for using their modem (Comcast). You could also get rid of the extra cable box from a guest room you really don’t use.
Meal Preparation instead of Eating Out: This is my weakness but I have cut down a lot. Make sure to have a grocery list and a menu list for the week. Being prepared will really help you avoid eating out or buying takeout. Here is a freebie for you. Meal Planner Menu & Grocery List.
Subscriptions: Analyze your expenses, especially subscriptions and see what you need and what you don’t and cancel those immediately.
Take Advantage of Free Trial Periods: to get free shipping or free audio books, from Amazon Prime, Pandora, Apple Music, etc. Just make sure you set multiple reminders to cancel them prior to the free trial period. If you are forgetful, just throw away this tip all together.
Skip Extended Warranties: Now, I always say no whenever I’m asked to purchase extended warranties and I only rely on the free manufacturer’s warranty that may last 1 or 2 years. I’ve noticed that if something is going to go wrong with a product, it may be during the first year anyway. I have contacted companies for replacements for a portable heater and Nikon’s wireless adapter and they have sent me a new one by submitting a claim–again without any extended warranty. However, I have to tell you a story, the only time we bought an extended warranty was for a huge TV (the warranty was paid by someone else as a gift) and it just so happens that this year the TV was damaged by a thunderstorm and thanks to the extended warranty we were able to get a new one. I don’t know if this warranty jinxed it or saved it but this is just my opinion, you buy whatever gives you peace of mind I guess.
Hope this helps. As always, please share your tips with us and don’t forget to follow and subscribe!
“THE BEST TIME TO SAVE MONEY IS WHEN YOU HAVE SOME.”
Cuba is more than puros (cigars), salsa and classic cars, Cuba is about its warm and happy people who are hungry for more…
5 days in Cuba-2018
I was a little worried about being able to go to Cuba with the new regulations imposed by the new administration but I was glad to find it as easy as traveling anywhere else with our privileged blue passport.
During this trip, in July 2018, I chose to travel a bit slower and not overwhelm myself with multiple cities in a short period of time. All I can pretty much share is my experience in Havana and a day trip to Viñales.
From what I experienced, Cuba is more than puros (cigars), salsa and classic cars, Cuba is about its warm and happy people who are hungry for more and are persistent in their pursuit to provide a better lifestyle for themselves and their families.
Before Going to Cuba: Visas & Research
Visa: In order to travel to Cuba, American citizens must get a visa and select 1 of the 12 traveling categories, I selected Support of the Cuban People. You can buy your visa at the airport for around 50 dollars but since I am a control freak I wanted to buy them in advance. I purchased them here for $85. They also charge a nice $25 for shipping but it was waived for us since we booked our flights with American Airlines.
Research: You can find the 12 categories on this site including a link to restricted places by the US Government. I did not have a problem with many of the restrictions since I planned to stay at airbnbs, also known as casas particulares. I personally think that’s the best way to do it. While researching I found some great articles/blogs that explain more in detail the new restrictions imposed at the end of 2017: What to Know Before you Go to Cuba and What’s the Result of New Cuba Restrictions.
I had absolutely no problem getting into Cuba or coming back into the US, no questions were asked. I’ve heard some people have an itinerary ready in case they are questioned while they are there. No one asked me anything. I always have an itinerary regardless. The only time I was asked the reason for me going there was by the monitor when I was checking in my flight at the airport.
Besides staying at casas particulares, I also ate at paladares (privately owned restaurants), did some tours in Havana and Viñales, visited museums, and got lost in the middle of the night in Central Havana. Some of my readings said to keep receipts in case you get audited by the US government. I have yet to hear anyone getting audited for going to Cuba. I was not worried about that, I got pictures and a vague itinerary and if that’s not enough well “lo bailado nadie me lo quita” (what I have enjoyed nobody can take it away).
Money: Take cash, cards don’t work there, at least American cards. Well that is what every blog and person I know told me so I did not even try to use a card while there but who knows maybe things are changing; I would not risk it. I changed my dollars at my local personal bank to euros because the exchange rate is better when you go there and you have to change it to CUCs (Cuban Convertible Pesos). CUCs are one of the two currencies they use. This is the money you will use there. The other currency is the CUP (Cuban Peso) which is about 1 CUC= 25 CUP approximately. Just so you have an idea if it’s worth it to change your dollars to euros, here it’s an example with the rates given to me:
$1000 / 1.2466=802 euros. 802 euros x 1.3874=913 CUC
If I would have taken just dollars, I would have received this:
$1000 *.87=870 CUC
If you are scratching your head, based on the above I had about 43 more CUCs just by taking euros instead of dollars. Is it worth it? that’s on you. Take into account that exchange rates fluctuate often. I also heard from a friend, who visits Cuba often, that you can get a better rate (.90 or a bit more instead of .87) at La Moneda Cubana. I changed my money at a CADECA, casa de cambio, (money exchange house) in Obispo Street. You can also change some at the airport but their rates are a bit lower.
Just to give you an idea, I spent about 600 dollars in 5 days including souvenirs, tours, airbnbs, food, museums, etc. That does not include my flight and some of the costs were split with my boyfriend.
Where to Stay:Casas particulares (Airbnb) are definitely the place to stay, you get to mingle with local Cubans and get an idea of how they really live. This was my first international Airbnb experience sharing someone’s house and I loved it. They give you tons of tips and Cuban’s hospitality was excellent. I spent 35 CUC on average per night. You will not get luxury but a clean room with air conditioner was all we needed.
Our first lovely host.
Balcony at our first Casa Particular in Old Havana
Balcony at our first Casa Particular in Old Havana.
What to See: Havana has many zones but the ones most people visit or talk about are Old Havana, Central Havana and Vedado.
There is a lot to do in Old Havana (Habana Vieja), we were lucky to stay right next to Plaza Vieja, a charming old square. Some restaurants and souvenir shops are here but I would suggest to go the Almacenes for that. Obispo Street is one of their main and busiest streets for tourists that leads you all the way to Parque Central where the Capitolio, Paseo del Prado, Jose Marti’s statue, Museo de las Bella Artes and the Hot Corner are located among many main hotels, and more.
Watching the sunset at the Malecon (seawall) is a must, take some change or small bills as you will have many people approach you trying to sell you fruit, gum or simply start serenading you with some salsa, don’t just dance with them, a tip goes a long way. Not everyone there is going to solicit from you either, some people just like to know where you are from and want to have a conversation. If you can head over to The Christ of Havana Statue on La Cabaña Hill for some nice panoramic views of the city, it’s worth it.
We did the Habana Bus Tour for 10 CUC per person; it’s a hop on, hop off bus. We also did a two-hour classic tour for 70 CUC. It was actually a little over 3 hours. I am not sure if that was a good price for those tours or not but we enjoyed it.
Plaza de San Francisco.
Plaza de la Catedral
We got lost in Central Havana our first night there, it was full of old alleyways with houses crumbling down and with people just walking or hanging outside. We kept being told that it was very safe regardless of how dark it may get in the streets at night and they were right. We also walked down the Malecon and let me tell you, on a Saturday night, that is where all the locals go. They gather in small or large groups while playing music on their phones or speakers and just hang there in the dark. You may also find some kids just twerking there lol, don’t ask, or couples engaging in some exuberant PDA– hey it’s their place not mine. It was a site to see, I wish I would have taken a picture but the simplicity of enjoying just their own company was refreshing.
Our last night, we rented a private studio in the Vedado area which is their more residential neighborhood. Here we had some wonderful massages for 25 CUC for one hour and an amazing facial for 12 CUC. We checked out their “mall” a galeria de tiendas that consisted of a handful of clothing stores, a large electronic store and a food market. You can also catch a little train for 1 CUC that takes you via the Malecon area from Hotel Melia Cohiba all the way to the Almacenes San Jose (huge flea market).
We were able to go to their local beach, Santa Maria del Mar or Playas del Este, it was about 20 to 25 minutes away from Parque Central. We took a bus for 5 CUC round trip per person. The last one runs at 6pm. There were three stops for the beaches. We got off at the last stop recommended to us for a more private area. It was a Tuesday so it was not busy at all. At first, I was going to go to Varadero but I am glad we did not thanks to my fave blogger’s suggestion. I was just as pleased with this beach. Soft white sand with clean and pristine water was all I needed; I had a great time there.
We also went to Viñales on a day trip, from 7:30am to 7:pm. The cost was 67 CUC per person which included pick up from a major hotel, lunch, a free drink (if you want to call it that, some green liquid), a tobacco tour, a cave tour and a quick stop at a mirador for some panoramic views. You can purchase the tours at major hotels or you can rent a private taxi which may be about 120 CUC or more, if you split it with more people then you are better off.
If you have time, stay in Havana 2 to 3 nights and get out the city and explore places like Trinidad, Cienfuegos, Santiago, etc. I just scratched the surface but I will be back.
Mural de la Prehistoria-Viñales
Tobacco farm in Viñales
Food: Food was okay but it was not great and this opinion can be biased since I am used to the taste and seasoning of Caribbean American food and this may have messed up my taste palate. Keep in mind they don’t enjoy the luxury of having supermarkets with 1 million products and seasonings as we do in the States. Some of the typical dishes I enjoyed were rice and black beans (moros y cristianos), puerco asado (roasted pig) yuca, tostones and veggies. Also, their lime soda nacional is bomb.
For breakfast, we mainly ate at our hosts’ house for a small fee of 5 CUC per person which included eggs, fruit, coffee, smoothies and bread with some type of spreading.
Food was relatively cheap at restaurants depending on where you go. I loved Don Julio’s Cafeteria-Pizzaria in Plaza Vieja. We had ropa vieja (shredded or pulled stewed beef), a pizza pie and two mojitos for 14 CUC total plus live music. Besides the lady who screamed at me because I did not want to buy a rose at that moment, I think that was my favorite place to eat. Castropol had excellent views of the Malecon and decent seafood. The paella was better than the one I ate in Valencia Spain but I also only tried one paella while in Valencia so don’t pay my paella reviews too much attention.
WiFi: What they say is true, WiFi is not really at hand’s reach but you can have it if you really want it. You need to buy a WiFi card, I got mine from Etecsa their main WiFi and phone company for 1 CUC for 1 hour or 5 CUC for 5 hours. They also sell it at other places for a slight premium. You can get WiFi at different parks or near certain buildings by the Malecon. It’s very easy to spot them since you will see a lot of Cubans all on their cellphones. I was lucky one of my casa particulares hosts had a WiFi router, which later on I was told it was illegal by another Cuban; if that’s true, well you got to love the ingenuity. There and at Floridita Restaurant were the only places I used WiFi for a total of a few hours during my entire stay. Being able to unplug almost completely was beyond relaxing, I guess one does not realize how dependent we can be to our phones until the internet vanishes.
Museo de La Revolucion
Museo Nacional de Bellas Artes-Arte Cubano
What I learned: I was told repeatedly the average monthly salary for a Cuban is between 20 to 25 CUC, while a doctor may make 40 CUC a month.
They want more. They don’t understand how they have some of the best doctors in the world and they still get paid 40 CUC a month. I mean damn, I don’t understand either.
Cubans are highly educated, all my casa particulares’ hosts were former attorneys. One of the drivers was also a former attorney and the other a recent graduate of economy. They all turned to the tourism industry, Cuba’s highest paid industry. While all the people we spoke with seemed to express their desire for more for their country as far as income and a better quality of life, I did not get the same sentiment from my hosts. I actually asked the wife of one of my host if her husband was out working another job when I did not see him at home and her response was “no, this is more than enough.” This same sentiment was shared with us by some friendly guys at the Hot Corner, it seems like there are people doing pretty well for themselves with private businesses but this is not reflective of the pueblo (all the people). Our friendly masseuse said the same; she told me she knew the deal and some will be better off than others and that is how they will prosper. It was amazing to engage in conversation with them and how willing they were to speak with you just by us asking them how was Cuba.
Cuba also gave us a reality check of the privilege we often take for granted. For a Cuban just to get a passport can cost him 100 CUC, that can mean a 4 month salary for some. That’s not counting the visas, a visa interview can cost you a little over 150 CUC just to be denied and told to come back and try next year.
One other thing I noticed was the long lines at the Spanish Embassy, a fairly new legislation now allows Cubans to apply for Spanish citizenship if they can prove their grandparents lost or gave up Spanish citizenship as a result of exile. Having a Spanish passport would allow some the ability to travel more freely.
During Obama’s administration, they said there was an invasion of Americans, they did not know what to do, their prices skyrocketed but with the new administration that stopped quickly. They don’t see American tourists too often now.
El Malecon during the day.
With our friends at the Esquina Caliente
El Cristo de la Habana
Paseo del Prado
One of our drivers mentioned Facebook and how his view of Cuba has shifted. He was only 22 and said when he was a kid he thought Cuba was the best country ever. Now that he can see more via social media and how others around the world live and enjoy life, he said that regardless of how hard he may work, he knows there is more to life that he cannot attain. I tried telling him it’s not always greener on the other side but who was I to really say that. Yes, I lived in poverty in Peru until 13 but I was given the chance to have a better life with more opportunities that others may not enjoy.
Street near Paseo del Prado
Cuba was refreshing, it was warm (well hot af in July) but you know what I mean, it was eye opening. It is not your typical all inclusive island vacation. There was obvious poverty, crumbling buildings left and right, dirty alleyways and a smell you get used to while wandering some streets. There were complaints from many, even the ones who made more money by working in the tourism industry. Not everything about Havana was colorful, in every sense of the word, but it was welcoming and beautiful at the same time, and I think you should all go experience it for yourselves. Take your dollars and enjoy.
You don’t travel for others to abide by your standards, you abide by their standards when you are traveling.
As women, we like to look good and enjoy the feeling of getting glammed up and putting a new outfit on to impress our damn selves, not anyone else. Today, I’m sharing 13 tips I practice to shop a little smarter and I hope they can help you a bit!
Look Fabulous Without Breaking Bank.
I personally think people should not spend a large amount of their money to look good at all. Save your money for things you need and will eventually help you like getting out of debt, a down payment, an emergency fund, a trip or 10, etc.
Nonetheless, as women, we still like to look good and enjoy the feeling of getting glammed up and putting a new outfit on to impress our damn selves, not anyone else. Today, I’m sharing 13 tips I practice to shop a little smarter and I hope they can help you a bit!
Clearance is for you. If you can’t give up clothes and shoes shopping, like me, buy items that will beat flash trends in the clearance section. No shame in my game. There are items that you will use over and over again and you will need as your staple pieces i.e. a nice blazer, a light jacket, interchangeable blouses, work dresses, etc. I’m not talking about items like bell bottoms, velvet dresses, fanny packs (ugh who let them come back). Those trends last too short and not worth the hype. Shop for quality staple pieces and you will have a greater and longer use for them.
Shop at the end of season. Know your clearance seasons at your favorite stores. I love this local retail store called Boscovs in South Jersey and I have learned that if I want to buy winter boots or winter clothes I probably have to go late April or May to find up to 90% off markdowns. I got my favorite over the knee high heel boots for $10! I still shop name brands, I just don’t ever pay retail price for them.
Go thrifting. I only do this a few times a year but I found a few great pieces. I still can’t get used to the smell lol and I get a bit overwhelmed. Plus, I often find great deals on sales events that even the thrift store can’t beat.
Only Buy if you Love it. Don’t buy any item unless you love it. Literally ask yourself “can I live without this?” If you really can’t decide, then just put it down and forget about it or put it on hold and if you really want it, you will go back and get it. This really helps impulse shopping.
Ask for a Discount. If there’s a minor defect that you know you can fix yourself, ask for a discount always. Just remember most likely it will be a final sale, make sure to love it.
Budget ahead for Shopping. If you try to deprive yourself from shopping, and you are someone like me, it won’t work for too long. Giving yourself a strict budget is more realistic and it will force you to get into the habit of browsing more for what you really want or need. At one point, I gave myself a $10 dollar budget for a week (I know, “she is nuts!”) but I would end up browsing a lot and ended up with pieces I really loved, even if it was as small as a quality nail polish, the little things can make you happy too.
Forget the labels. Name brands don’t always mean better quality. I often get asked what brand are my purses because they look expensive or just because they are different and stylish to which I proudly tell them they are no pricey bag or no name brand bag. I’ll let you spend hundreds while I walk around with a $40 dollar bag that will likely last me as long as yours. If your bags are worth more than your savings, you have a problem sis, sorry not sorry; knowing there is a problem is a step.
Clothes swap. Now, this is not a tip for shopping but to get creative while getting new clothes; well new clothes to you. Just ask your friends to come over and bring the clothes that they no longer wear and you bring yours. Free to you and free to them. I get excited when I have a new piece of clothing and I honestly don’t care if it has a tag or not–it’s just a new piece to my ever changing recyclable collection.
Sell everything you no longer love or have a use for. That size two dress you wore 5 years ago and keep for inspiration, that velour sweatsuit that should be burned but you still keep for memories, and everything else that is just taking valuable space in your closet needs to go. All the clothes you swear you will one day fit into or will come back into style, they won’t, sorry. But why not make a few bucks for them. I’ve used a few sites like OfferUp and Mercari but none compare to Poshmark. I’ve been selling my gently used wardrobe on Poshmark for almost a year now and I absolutely love it. It’s simple, they get a small fee of 2.99 or a percentage if below a price and the buyer pays for shipping. All you do is mail the item out after someone buys it and Poshmark emails you the shipping label. Recently, I’ve been trying to shop only when I sell something so I’m not spending additional money from my budget. Check out my Poshmark closet and use my code susu_hj to sign up and get a $5 credit!
Save your receipts. Have you ever bought something and never wore it? Yes, we all do it, buyer’s remorse happens too often. Save those receipts and don’t take the tags off the clothes until you wear them. I keep all my receipts and after a month or more I just try to return anything I have not worn unless it was bought for a special occasion or as Christmas gifts (I do my shopping early). Even if it’s past due the return date, get the store credit and buy something that you will actually use.
Online Shopping. Read reviews extensively when shopping online and wait for coupons to not pay for shipping. If I have to pay for shipping, I usually don’t buy it. Most online stores usually run specials during July 4, Memorial Day, Black Friday, Cyber Monday and any other holiday you can think of. Same as with shopping in a brick and mortar store, check out the clearance section and shop during the end of a season for garments to be used the following year. My two favorite online stores are Shein and Lulu’s. For Shein, you really have to check the reviews like a detective to make sure you get the right size. Also, you must be patient with Shein’s shipping, although they have gotten better recently and I love the no shipping regardless of price.
Buy versatile clothing. Items you can wear out and in the office (assuming you have an office job). I can’t express enough the importance of this. We have all spent too much money on going out dresses and only worn them once, it’s just wasteful. I have legit wore a club dress as a top and put on a sweater or blazer on top to the office. Look for dresses that can be dressed up and down to be worn at dinners, functions, work, family events, etc. Shop purposely.
Have a Shopping Spree with others’ money. Is your birthday coming up? Make a list with links to the items and send them to whoever buys you gifts during your birthday or a special holiday. This is usually when I splurge with others’ money and since it’s a thought out process (kinda), we all win. I get exactly what I want like name brand make up, outfits, purses, etc. and they don’t have to worry about what I want or what I may or may not like. I hate getting cash as I end up spending it on items like gas or lunch, I mean we all need gas but who WANTS gas for their birthday. I can finance my own needs, buy me my weaknesses, thank you.Some of my favorite physical stores are Boscovs, Macy’sBurlington, Ross, H&M, TJMaxx and boutiques. Most of these stores also sell online but I just have to shop and browse in person; maybe it’s just their websites I dislike.
Hope this was insightful in some way. I believe in balance and while I am a semi-strict budgeter, I have a love for clothes that I know I won’t give up, at least for now. It’s just a matter of finding ways to shop a little smarter. Please share some of your favorite online stores below and any shopping tips!
I am a semi-strict budgeter who does not like to live in deprivation. Just like many women, I like to look good, I love new home decor and I enjoy traveling. I believe in balance and I am still able to indulge but I do it with great moderation. So, today, we will talk about the first 2 steps to financial wisdom.
It’s not about how much you make but how much you spend.
The fear of being financially ignorant was ingrained in me since I can remember. I grew up in a very poor household in Lima-Peru, a beautiful developing country. Disposable income in our home was non-existent, going out to eat meant going to a Chinese buffet once a year and shopping meant checking out the Salvation Army. Don’t get me wrong, I never missed a meal or any necessities and for that I am grateful to both of my parents.
Living through foreclosures and bankruptcies at a young age pushed me to be more curious about personal finances. I majored in Finance in college and have attended numerous financial management seminars, but Life has really been my biggest teacher, even above a higher education institution. I’d like to think of myself as a wise financial person who is making the best with a modest income. I am a semi-strict budgeter who does not like to live in deprivation. Just like many women, I like to look good, I love new home decor and I enjoy traveling. I believe in balance and I am still able to indulge but I do it with great moderation. So, today, we will talk about the first 2 steps to financial wisdom.
Budget: Live life on your terms: I am including a free document here Budget Doc, so you can see how I budget my expenses. I am a fan of Google Sheets but there are tons of apps and some just prefer good old paper; whatever works for you.
First, write down how much money (after taxes) you are bringing in monthly from all incomes.
Then, make a list of all your monthly expenses. Start with your fixed expenses aka non-negotiables (i.e. savings, rent/mortgage, student loans, cellphone, car insurance, car payment, credit cards, etc).
Then continue with a list of your variable expenses aka determined by use (i.e. utility bills, groceries, copays, gas, etc).
Finally, finish up your list and include all your other expenses (i.e. restaurants, makeup, clothing & shoes, hair salon, nail salon, gym membership, cable, games, movies, books, etc.). Add all your expenses and subtract it from your monthly income (Total Monthly Income-Total Monthly Expenses). If you have a positive number, we have disposable income and more opportunities. If we have a negative number, it’s time to figure out a plan and really decide what is essential from the other expenses list, this is where we can cut down unnecessary expenses so we can either save more or pay down debt faster.
Tips: Budget for at least three months, it will become a habit. Review it biweekly or monthly and make readjustments. Consistency is key. Be realistic and really understand what expenses are essential. I personally cannot give up my gym membership and workout at home instead because paying a monthly fee actually motivates me to go. I gave up buying coffee, not coffee itself, but my K-Cups cost 30 cents now compared to $2 (I was never a Starbucks girl). Giving up buying lunches was hard, I love take out and Wawa! (an amazing convenience chain store). It took time and preparation but now I tell myself I am not eating my money away. I was spending at least 200 monthly, just in lunches, and now I have cut that in half or more just by buying groceries.
Pay yourself first, before you spend it on someone else: You may be asking why I consider savings to be a fixed expense as mentioned before. Well, I am a huge believer of paying yourself first while building an emergency fund; this should be a habit that will essentially create a foundation that can be passed down. I have read different articles saying you have to save from 5% to 15% of your take home income.
I say, if all you can save is $20 per paycheck, do that, but be consistent and realistic. Look at the list above and be honest with yourself; if you are spending over $100 a month in recreational expenses and saving $20, chances are that if an emergency arises, you will most likely swipe the plastic (credit cards) and then you will accumulate high interests, pay only the minimum payment, and put yourself in more debt.
So, pay yourself first as soon as the direct deposit hits and preferably put it in a separate savings account. I personally set up an automatic transfer from my checking to savings on every payday. I have my savings in the same bank as my checking but I practice a lot of self control. If you are afraid you will just access the savings when you are tempted to do some shopping therapy, then try to get a separate online savings account. This will prevent you from having immediate access to cash and hopefully the urge will disappear.
Using a separate checking account for my bills has really helped me see where I am spending the most outside of my necessities. This helps me buckle down when I need to save extra to travel or buy an expensive item.
~DO NOT SAVE WHAT IS LEFT AFTER SPENDING, BUT SPEND WHAT IS LEFT AFTER SAVING~ WARREN BUFFETT.
Let’s face it, nowadays we are living our lives through a lense, a picture, a video, a snap, a blog, vlog, podcast, website or livestream, so much that it feels like our entire lives are being uploaded and they load as others check in on it.
WhyLife is Loading? simply because I needed a space to get my thoughts out, a place where I could share stories, tips, advice, venting sessions and everything in between about this fast changing world. And let’s face it, nowadays we are living our lives through a lense, a picture, a video, a snap, a blog, vlog, podcast, website or livestream, so much that it feels like our entire lives are being uploaded and they load as others check in on it. Cheesy huh? It made sense in my head.
Hola, I am Susan, some call me Susu, a nickname given to me as a joke by a sorority sister some years back. You heard it right, I am a in a sorority, a sisterhood, an hermanidad (Er-Ma-Knee-Dad) or however you want to refer to it. But, let’s get it right, it is not the type of sorority you see in the movies nowadays (no Stomp the Yard or Neighbors over here), that’s the beauty of being a member of a Latina based/founded sorority; there’s beauty in culture.
Talking about culture, I’ve lived in the United States since I arrived when I was 13 years old, I have now been here for 18 years (go ahead, do the math lol) residing in the lovely New Jersey. During my transition here, I have seen so much change through my little eyes that it is time to share.
Being an immigrant, a 1.5 generation (we’ll talk about this later), someone who followed all the rules from immigrant parents (went to college & got two degrees, got a stable career, bought a house), travels but still is frugal as hell, and lives in this social media world, all while trying to still figure out life in her 30s without kids, has put a lot into perspective. A lot of “I wish someone told me that,” “Is this really the American Dream?” “What else am I missing?” “What is next?” All these questions led me to create an outlet (fancy word for blog) where others could come and hopefully relate, opine, share and learn something. But learn what, you may be wondering, well this outlet will have topics on:
Personal Finance: You’d be surprised how many people with or without degrees can’t manage their personal finances and struggle with debt and poor credit scores. This stops us from achieving greatness! Not that a house is greatness but the less options or ways you have to bargain, the less resources available to you. Let’s even the battlefield y’all.
Lifestyle|Hobbies|Tips: Travel, Beauty, Reading, Photography, Health and más (more) because life can’t just be about your 9-5 or business ventures. We must balance life without breaking bank.
Empowerment and Reflections: Relationships discussion, figuring out ourselves/loving and being our best selves, strengths & struggles of young people of color in America today…because in today’s world, we are fucked by the “image you have in your mind of what you are supposed to be and often fail to be your best self by comparing to the person next to you.”